RENOVATION RHYMES

I couldn't resist penning a verse or two about our experiences refurbishing the apartment we moved into in order to make it seem more like our home. Although the space is small, the square footage of kitsch loomed large. There is still work to be done but some of the bigger design mistakes have been undone and never to be spoken of again......after the recitation of the below, of course...

PAINT LIMERICK
There once was a puke-green wall colour
that we walked in to on day one in horror
not six coats of paint
could remove the taint
of the hue choice of residents, prior

A HAIKU FOR HOOKS
nowhere to hang you
O jacket, keys or purses
on the floor you lay, til spring

WALLPAPER BORDERS
Wallpaper borders
lurk in my dreams with foreboding
if bursts of colour join
repurposed TV stands and makeshift counters
would it were for perpetuity
why then do carpeted floors appear?
broadloom nightmares
despite the tiles that belong
on our path
on our floor
thoughts of new bathroom fixtures
fridge doors that open
and ovens that heat
remain in my heart
until we can rebuild

NOTHING IS RED AND SO WE'RE ALL BLUE
Nothing is red
and so we're all blue
for all is coral and shell-shaped
it's Florida - what's new?!

SONNET FOR AN UGLY SOFA
You were never right for the room
although the previous owners erred
too large, too pink, too past your bloom
for a new thrift shop life, be prepared
the corduroy journey that all who sat took
enveloped in your cushion and fold
has furrowed your form with a weather'd look
burying your confident, clean image of olde
under the burden of overuse and kids' bouncing
stray remnants of red wine and spaghetti sauce
lurk in the seams that will soon hide the trouncing
now a secret shared by me, thee and the GoodWill shop boss

If this be your fate, I weep.  Though with haste
I abandon you to someone with bad taste!